So as some of you may know I have recently held an X-Men Evolution contest on my Youtube channel (you can check out my channel here: http://www.youtube.com/user/PinkEmoPuppies)
and I, along with a few helpers have chosen the winners! so go check out their channels, rate their videos, leave a comment, and SUBSCRIBE TO THEM!! all three videos chosen were really, amazing videos, so i advise everyone to go check them out!
1st place winner: XEVOLUTlON "X-Men Evolution - Youth Of The Nation" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeYSMgsB78k
2nd place winner: Lucida0lownes "E for Evolution" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3RVFSwFhSY
3rd placewinner: AnnMarieRogue "X23- Everything Burns" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__R66cy-xZ0
also, you can check out the original contest video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIWsHBXW134
and you can see the winner contest video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jhznv87kmRM
=)
Lots of love <3
-PinkEmoPuppies
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Short Story: New Year
Short Story: New Year
they say as one year ends a new on begins. but inr eality, a new beggining isnt as great as it sounds. a new year brings new problems, new worries, new stress, new heart break, new sorrow.
School starts up again, right after you have a nice winter break. the work becomes overwhelming, andyou've only been back a few days. you pray to god tat you'll die that night. peacefully. while your sleeping. that way you don't feel any pain. and you won't ahve to face tomarrow. your mind is unstable, even when it comes to simple choices and opinions. your bodies aces from cuts and bruises you've inflicted upon yourself. your stupid. your ignorant. your a horrible friends. a horrible daughter. a horrible sister. a horrrible girlfriends. and all together, a horrible person. and you hate yourself for that. no matter how hard your try to be a better student, to be a better person, its not hard enough, and you don't have the energy to try any harder. you can feel your grades slipping. you feel alone in the world. the new year didnt change anything. if anything it made it worse. the saddness and depression overcomes you. all you can do is hope you die and leave this world forever. a new year doesnt bring new begginings. its just an end. and end to your life forever.
they say as one year ends a new on begins. but inr eality, a new beggining isnt as great as it sounds. a new year brings new problems, new worries, new stress, new heart break, new sorrow.
School starts up again, right after you have a nice winter break. the work becomes overwhelming, andyou've only been back a few days. you pray to god tat you'll die that night. peacefully. while your sleeping. that way you don't feel any pain. and you won't ahve to face tomarrow. your mind is unstable, even when it comes to simple choices and opinions. your bodies aces from cuts and bruises you've inflicted upon yourself. your stupid. your ignorant. your a horrible friends. a horrible daughter. a horrible sister. a horrrible girlfriends. and all together, a horrible person. and you hate yourself for that. no matter how hard your try to be a better student, to be a better person, its not hard enough, and you don't have the energy to try any harder. you can feel your grades slipping. you feel alone in the world. the new year didnt change anything. if anything it made it worse. the saddness and depression overcomes you. all you can do is hope you die and leave this world forever. a new year doesnt bring new begginings. its just an end. and end to your life forever.
Poem: My Weekly Schedual
Poem: My Weekly Schedual
Sunday: go to church; thoughts: Kill me.
Monday: go to school; thoughts: Kill me.
Tuesday: go to school; thoughts: Kill me.
Wednesday: go to school; thoughts: Kill me.
Thursday: go to school: thoughts: Kill me.
Friday: go to work: thoughts: Kill me.
Saturday: go see you; thoughts: i love you......
Sunday: go to church; thoughts: Kill me.
Sunday: go to church; thoughts: Kill me.
Monday: go to school; thoughts: Kill me.
Tuesday: go to school; thoughts: Kill me.
Wednesday: go to school; thoughts: Kill me.
Thursday: go to school: thoughts: Kill me.
Friday: go to work: thoughts: Kill me.
Saturday: go see you; thoughts: i love you......
Sunday: go to church; thoughts: Kill me.
Short Story: The Closet
Short Story: The Closet
Chapter one: Hidden
there i sat. alone in the neverending, dark closet. no windows, no doors, now wat to get out, "here," i thought, "here is wherei will forever remain." thi si the one place i am hidden from the abuse, and the descrimination of those who don't understand me. my rights and freedoms have been taking away from me. but i am the only one who knows it, because i hide. My name is Dylan Christopher Morriss, I'm 16 years old, and I am gay.
Chapter 2: For all the boys i've loved before
i first admitten what some people may call a, "Sexuality problem," to myself in middle school. In 6th grade, while most guys my age were starting to like girls, i didnt. at one point the other boys i hung out with all had a "middle school sweetheart." i didnt.i didnt want one. and i didnt mind not haveing one, i loved the sports i played and the things i did. but apart from that something was missing, and i couldnt put my finger on it. i first realized i was gay when my best friend Alex, got his first girlfriend. he started ditching me to hang out with her, i became mad and jealous. not jelous of alex, jealous of his girlfriend, because she got to be with him all the time, while i wasnt. and thats when i realized it, i was crushing on my best friend, my best friend, whom was a boy. i had feelings for him, real feelings, that i couldnt control, and they wouldnt go away. i was only 12 years old, noe even a teenager yet, but when i realized it, everything became clear, why i didnt find girls "hot," why i didnt understand what was so special about females boobs, or butt size. i never went through an awkward donfuzed faze, i knew i was gay and i knew i had to hide it. because my friends were againsed gays, always making jokes about them, and i didnt want them to think about me that way, to think im a freak, and not wanting to be around me. and that, having to hide from my friends, not getting to be myself around them, was the hardest part of my outcomming.
Chapter 3: Big Fake
all of middle school, 6th, 7th, and 8th grade, i faked being straight. i often told my friends things like, "check out that hottie," or "look at the rack on that girl," i had adapted to my friends version of a beautiful girl, their version of beautiful was fake. big boobs, big ass, lots of makeup. the girls they liked seemed to be fake.. like i was, i was faking my sexuality, they were faking their loooks, hiding behind their dark eyeliner and mascara, but by faking who i was, i realized who the really, truely beautiful girls were. they were the ones my friends ignored, the ones who didn't hide, the girls with no, or light, natural makeup, the ones who didnt show off body parts. they were even sweeter and more caring then the ones my friends found attractive, they weren't constantly demanding attention, and even i, a secret gay guy, could see this, while my friends, my straight friends, couldnt, i guess they were too busy being, and trying to impress girls they like too much to noice their flaws and the perfection of the natural looking ones. i promised myself that if i was ever straight i would date theses girls, but for now, i was too busy trying to hide the real me.
Chapter 4: the key to a girls heart
faking who i was was hard, and trying to be around my best friend was even harder. i had feelings for alex and i know i did. and it was hajrd to hide them when i was around him, and it hurt knowing we could never be together, that he would never feel this way about me. so i stope\ped hanging out with him. at the beggining of my eight grade year, and the age of 14 i quit football and basketball and started haning out with some of the girls at my school. the plain, natural beautiful ones. and i began to understand why guy guys have a reputation of having girls as best friends. girls, specifically sweet, natural ones, not unatural whores, are more understanding. they dont judge people for who they are, what the look like, or how they live life. they are accepting and non-judgemental. and because of these traits i loved haning out with them. i had two new best friends, rebbecca and veronica. they were the funnest people to hang out with. and soon after i started hanging out with them i was able to let a little bit more of myself shine, the real me, not the fake one. i stopped dating girls to hide myself, and i stopped saying bad things about people. my old friends had thought of me as a "ladies man" because i always hung out with girls, and girls always hung around me, but the reason for that was because i treated them like human beings, not like peices of meat, like the straight guys did, and ALL the straight guys treated the girls like that. its seeemed in me becoming gay, i found the secret to a girls heart, treat them like a human being, and i couldnt even use it, and i didnt even want to use it. ironic right?
Chapter 5: My Law
rebecca and veronica stayed with me all through eighth grade. every day i slid a little more and more out from under the closet doory. they helped me be myself, they never jueged me ore made fun of me for who i was. they showed me not to care what others think, because in the end all that matters is what you think of yourself. and thats the law i have learned to live by.
Chapter 6: Seeing the light of the outside
i opened the door, all the way this time, i didnt just slip through the cracks, but i let my self out, my whole self out. i saw the bright light of freeedom, and it felt amazing! it was me, for the first time iw as sure of everything i was doing. first, i told rebecca and veronica, they said they knew before i told the, because, and i quote, i was "Always, always, always, checkout out guys." which, was true. then i told my mother, she was accually releaved that i wasnt straight because, "straight men are ass holes and take advantage of women." which i had also recently found out was true. i waited a little longer to tell my dad. he wouldnt be too happy about this news. after all, i am his only son, (i know that sounds totally cliche) and when i didd it was as if hell had risen from the underworld and ended up in my living room. there was yelling and screaming and crying for what seemed like hours on end.and i just sat tthere, on the dark blue sofa in my parents living room listeing to my father yell at me. yell at me like he knew how it felt to be gay. like he understood where i was comming from. like he knew how it felt to be attracted to men, and not women, and not being able to control my feelings, thinking i could control these feelings. after an excruciating couple of hours i looked up at him, right in the eye, and yelled back at him. i told him not to jude me the way he already was, and i told him he cant tell me im confused or crazy, because he didnt know how i felt. and i felt great! my mom on my side the whole time, yelled at him as well, and i think he finally got the message, or atleast.. he pretended he did.
Chapter 7: My name is...........and i am gay
i am now 16 years old, in my sophmore year of high school. i have been in a relationship with my boyfriend, Brad, for the past three months. i love him, and he loves me. and no matter what kind of discrimination and abuse we take or go throught, no matter what laws and propositions are made, i can now say that i am proudly out of the dark closet, and have came into the great, bright light called life. i now know, thanks to my friends and family, all that matters is what i think of myself. My name is Dylan Christopher morriss. and i am gay.
Chapter one: Hidden
there i sat. alone in the neverending, dark closet. no windows, no doors, now wat to get out, "here," i thought, "here is wherei will forever remain." thi si the one place i am hidden from the abuse, and the descrimination of those who don't understand me. my rights and freedoms have been taking away from me. but i am the only one who knows it, because i hide. My name is Dylan Christopher Morriss, I'm 16 years old, and I am gay.
Chapter 2: For all the boys i've loved before
i first admitten what some people may call a, "Sexuality problem," to myself in middle school. In 6th grade, while most guys my age were starting to like girls, i didnt. at one point the other boys i hung out with all had a "middle school sweetheart." i didnt.i didnt want one. and i didnt mind not haveing one, i loved the sports i played and the things i did. but apart from that something was missing, and i couldnt put my finger on it. i first realized i was gay when my best friend Alex, got his first girlfriend. he started ditching me to hang out with her, i became mad and jealous. not jelous of alex, jealous of his girlfriend, because she got to be with him all the time, while i wasnt. and thats when i realized it, i was crushing on my best friend, my best friend, whom was a boy. i had feelings for him, real feelings, that i couldnt control, and they wouldnt go away. i was only 12 years old, noe even a teenager yet, but when i realized it, everything became clear, why i didnt find girls "hot," why i didnt understand what was so special about females boobs, or butt size. i never went through an awkward donfuzed faze, i knew i was gay and i knew i had to hide it. because my friends were againsed gays, always making jokes about them, and i didnt want them to think about me that way, to think im a freak, and not wanting to be around me. and that, having to hide from my friends, not getting to be myself around them, was the hardest part of my outcomming.
Chapter 3: Big Fake
all of middle school, 6th, 7th, and 8th grade, i faked being straight. i often told my friends things like, "check out that hottie," or "look at the rack on that girl," i had adapted to my friends version of a beautiful girl, their version of beautiful was fake. big boobs, big ass, lots of makeup. the girls they liked seemed to be fake.. like i was, i was faking my sexuality, they were faking their loooks, hiding behind their dark eyeliner and mascara, but by faking who i was, i realized who the really, truely beautiful girls were. they were the ones my friends ignored, the ones who didn't hide, the girls with no, or light, natural makeup, the ones who didnt show off body parts. they were even sweeter and more caring then the ones my friends found attractive, they weren't constantly demanding attention, and even i, a secret gay guy, could see this, while my friends, my straight friends, couldnt, i guess they were too busy being, and trying to impress girls they like too much to noice their flaws and the perfection of the natural looking ones. i promised myself that if i was ever straight i would date theses girls, but for now, i was too busy trying to hide the real me.
Chapter 4: the key to a girls heart
faking who i was was hard, and trying to be around my best friend was even harder. i had feelings for alex and i know i did. and it was hajrd to hide them when i was around him, and it hurt knowing we could never be together, that he would never feel this way about me. so i stope\ped hanging out with him. at the beggining of my eight grade year, and the age of 14 i quit football and basketball and started haning out with some of the girls at my school. the plain, natural beautiful ones. and i began to understand why guy guys have a reputation of having girls as best friends. girls, specifically sweet, natural ones, not unatural whores, are more understanding. they dont judge people for who they are, what the look like, or how they live life. they are accepting and non-judgemental. and because of these traits i loved haning out with them. i had two new best friends, rebbecca and veronica. they were the funnest people to hang out with. and soon after i started hanging out with them i was able to let a little bit more of myself shine, the real me, not the fake one. i stopped dating girls to hide myself, and i stopped saying bad things about people. my old friends had thought of me as a "ladies man" because i always hung out with girls, and girls always hung around me, but the reason for that was because i treated them like human beings, not like peices of meat, like the straight guys did, and ALL the straight guys treated the girls like that. its seeemed in me becoming gay, i found the secret to a girls heart, treat them like a human being, and i couldnt even use it, and i didnt even want to use it. ironic right?
Chapter 5: My Law
rebecca and veronica stayed with me all through eighth grade. every day i slid a little more and more out from under the closet doory. they helped me be myself, they never jueged me ore made fun of me for who i was. they showed me not to care what others think, because in the end all that matters is what you think of yourself. and thats the law i have learned to live by.
Chapter 6: Seeing the light of the outside
i opened the door, all the way this time, i didnt just slip through the cracks, but i let my self out, my whole self out. i saw the bright light of freeedom, and it felt amazing! it was me, for the first time iw as sure of everything i was doing. first, i told rebecca and veronica, they said they knew before i told the, because, and i quote, i was "Always, always, always, checkout out guys." which, was true. then i told my mother, she was accually releaved that i wasnt straight because, "straight men are ass holes and take advantage of women." which i had also recently found out was true. i waited a little longer to tell my dad. he wouldnt be too happy about this news. after all, i am his only son, (i know that sounds totally cliche) and when i didd it was as if hell had risen from the underworld and ended up in my living room. there was yelling and screaming and crying for what seemed like hours on end.and i just sat tthere, on the dark blue sofa in my parents living room listeing to my father yell at me. yell at me like he knew how it felt to be gay. like he understood where i was comming from. like he knew how it felt to be attracted to men, and not women, and not being able to control my feelings, thinking i could control these feelings. after an excruciating couple of hours i looked up at him, right in the eye, and yelled back at him. i told him not to jude me the way he already was, and i told him he cant tell me im confused or crazy, because he didnt know how i felt. and i felt great! my mom on my side the whole time, yelled at him as well, and i think he finally got the message, or atleast.. he pretended he did.
Chapter 7: My name is...........and i am gay
i am now 16 years old, in my sophmore year of high school. i have been in a relationship with my boyfriend, Brad, for the past three months. i love him, and he loves me. and no matter what kind of discrimination and abuse we take or go throught, no matter what laws and propositions are made, i can now say that i am proudly out of the dark closet, and have came into the great, bright light called life. i now know, thanks to my friends and family, all that matters is what i think of myself. My name is Dylan Christopher morriss. and i am gay.
Poem: December
Poem: December
dradel, dradel, dradel,
i made you out of clay.
go to bed quickly,
santa's on his way.
the snow falls quietly,
all throughout the day.
cold winters winds are blowing,
december's here to stay.
dradel, dradel, dradel,
i made you out of clay.
go to bed quickly,
santa's on his way.
the snow falls quietly,
all throughout the day.
cold winters winds are blowing,
december's here to stay.
Poem: November
Poem: November
heads are bowed,
grace is said,
cut a turkey,
with your family,
eat lots of food,
and pumpkin pie,
toasts are said,
football is watched,
tummies are full,
to bed we go,
happy thanksgiving.
heads are bowed,
grace is said,
cut a turkey,
with your family,
eat lots of food,
and pumpkin pie,
toasts are said,
football is watched,
tummies are full,
to bed we go,
happy thanksgiving.
Poem: October
Poem: October
children go door to door,
looking for candy and treets,
witches, ghosts, and goblins,
looking for something to eat.
children walking through the street,
fall leaves crushing under their feet,
playing dress up, with an old white sheet.
children playing looking so neat,
after dark theres no longer heat,
while all the parents relax, and take a seat.
children go door to door,
looking for candy and treets,
witches, ghosts, and goblins,
looking for something to eat.
children walking through the street,
fall leaves crushing under their feet,
playing dress up, with an old white sheet.
children playing looking so neat,
after dark theres no longer heat,
while all the parents relax, and take a seat.
Poem: September
Poem: September
as autumn begins summer is ending,
school starts again, so no more pretending.
every leaf is changing its color,
each on very different then any other.
summer was the greatest blast,
but we all knew it was too good to last.
no more swimming or biking,
or playing or running.
its that time of year,
where we get to start learning.
and just when we think the boredom won't end,
its finally friday, and the fun starts again.
as autumn begins summer is ending,
school starts again, so no more pretending.
every leaf is changing its color,
each on very different then any other.
summer was the greatest blast,
but we all knew it was too good to last.
no more swimming or biking,
or playing or running.
its that time of year,
where we get to start learning.
and just when we think the boredom won't end,
its finally friday, and the fun starts again.
Poem: August
Poem: August
a cool august breeze runs,
through my hair,
down to my feet,
its everywhere.
the tempuature is perfect,
not too hot not too cold,
so right now i,
dont feel very old.
the weather is nice,
its the best time to play,
so thats how i will spend,
the rest of my day.
a cool august breeze runs,
through my hair,
down to my feet,
its everywhere.
the tempuature is perfect,
not too hot not too cold,
so right now i,
dont feel very old.
the weather is nice,
its the best time to play,
so thats how i will spend,
the rest of my day.
Poem: July
Poem: July
it was a night in July,
there were no stars in the sky.
everyone had been fed,
and were tucked away in there bed.
but it was too hot to sleeep,
however i did not make a peep.
sweat ran from my head to my toes,
a little even trickled off my nose.
the noise from my bedroom fan was load,
but even then i was still proud.
proud i rode my bike down the street,
instead of dozing off, counting sheep.
proud i caught fish in a net,
instead of fooling around and getting wet.
proud i hiked up the monsterous hilll,
instead of faking sick, saying i was ill.
now it is time to go to bed,
so i lie here, and rest my head.
it was a night in July,
there were no stars in the sky.
everyone had been fed,
and were tucked away in there bed.
but it was too hot to sleeep,
however i did not make a peep.
sweat ran from my head to my toes,
a little even trickled off my nose.
the noise from my bedroom fan was load,
but even then i was still proud.
proud i rode my bike down the street,
instead of dozing off, counting sheep.
proud i caught fish in a net,
instead of fooling around and getting wet.
proud i hiked up the monsterous hilll,
instead of faking sick, saying i was ill.
now it is time to go to bed,
so i lie here, and rest my head.
Poem: June
Poem: June
the weathers getting warmer,
summer colors are seen.
we wear swim suits and shorts,
ocean water, cool againsed the skin.
flip flops and sandles on our feet,
take a dip in an icy pool.
summer is finally here.
the weathers getting warmer,
summer colors are seen.
we wear swim suits and shorts,
ocean water, cool againsed the skin.
flip flops and sandles on our feet,
take a dip in an icy pool.
summer is finally here.
Poem: May
Poem: May
School is ending.
Vacation is beginning.
no more days alone in class,
no more days sitting on my ass.
now we go outside to play,
more things to do during the day.
spring is here and the air is warm,
no more writing cramps in my arm.
school is ending,
vacation is beginning.
it must be may.
School is ending.
Vacation is beginning.
no more days alone in class,
no more days sitting on my ass.
now we go outside to play,
more things to do during the day.
spring is here and the air is warm,
no more writing cramps in my arm.
school is ending,
vacation is beginning.
it must be may.
Poem: April
Poem: April
drip drop, drip drop.
the rain hits on my window pane,
it sounds cliche, but it happens all day,
its the only thing keeping me sane.
drip drop, drip drop.
the sky is crying tears,
it sounds cliche, but it happens all day,
its the only thing hiding my fears.
drip drop, drip drop.
i stay warm inside,
it sounds cliche, but it happens all day,
its the only safe place to hide.
drip drop, drip drop.
the rain hits on my window pane,
it sounds cliche, but it happens all day,
its the only thing keeping me sane.
drip drop, drip drop.
the sky is crying tears,
it sounds cliche, but it happens all day,
its the only thing hiding my fears.
drip drop, drip drop.
i stay warm inside,
it sounds cliche, but it happens all day,
its the only safe place to hide.
Poem: March
Poem: March
goodbye winter,
goodbye cold,
hello new,
goodbye boring old.
hello sun,
hello fun,
goodbye snow,
hello morning run.
goodbye to winter,
hello to spring,
hello to warm days,
hello everything.
goodbye winter,
goodbye cold,
hello new,
goodbye boring old.
hello sun,
hello fun,
goodbye snow,
hello morning run.
goodbye to winter,
hello to spring,
hello to warm days,
hello everything.
Poem: Febuary
Poem: Febuary
Love.
L.
O.
V.
E.
Chocolate hearts.
L.
O.
V.
E.
Stuffed animals.
L.
O.
V.
E.
Cute cards.
L.
O.
V.
E.
Diamond ring.
L.
O.
V.
E.
First kiss.
L.
O.
V.
E.
Love.
L.
O.
V.
E.
Love.
L.
O.
V.
E.
Chocolate hearts.
L.
O.
V.
E.
Stuffed animals.
L.
O.
V.
E.
Cute cards.
L.
O.
V.
E.
Diamond ring.
L.
O.
V.
E.
First kiss.
L.
O.
V.
E.
Love.
L.
O.
V.
E.
Poem: January
Poem: January
new year.
new you.
new goals.
new semester.
new start.
new job.
new faith.
new beleifs.
new carma.
new love.
new stories.
new memories.
new year.
new you.
new year.
new you.
new goals.
new semester.
new start.
new job.
new faith.
new beleifs.
new carma.
new love.
new stories.
new memories.
new year.
new you.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Unfinished Story: My Life Ended in High School [unedited]
Unfinished Story: My Life Ended in High School [unedited]
Chapter one: The End
Its Febuary 21st.
Tonight is the night that i would end all nights. The night i would drown myself in my own tears, watch the blood trickle from my wrists, and watch the depressing darkness wash over my body for the last time. Tonight was the one year anniversary of my greatest fear, and my worst nightmare.
Exactly one year ago it happened. My body, and my sanity, had been stolen from me, and all that was left was my tears. It was the night i, Virginia Megan Hansallen, had been stolen from my body. And i was finally ready to let my body dig its own grave into the deep pits of emptiness that my soul had been thrown into exactly one year ago.
Chapter two: Fresh-meat
it all started my first day of my freshman year of high school. that morning i was dressed to impress. my wardrobe for the first week of school had been picked out nearly a month in advance. This morning, my first morning of high school, i was determinded to make all heards turn to see me. i was sick of being the nobody that wore plain clothes and got good grades. i was done being unnoticed, but today all that would change. it was a hot summer morning, i had been up since four o-clock this morning, taking my time to get ready so i would look perfect. i wore a pair of light green three inch heels, with a matching toob top in the same shade, the color made my green eyes pop out. i wore my long light brown hair in loose curls, i had gotten light blonde hihlights the week before, because the normal color of my hair had made my skin look too pale. i had practically drowned my eyes in dark black eyeliner and mascara. and the lip glossi wore had turned my thin lips plump and beauriful. to top everything off, i wore a grey strapless water bra, a black rhinstoned thong (nobody would see but it made me feel more confident) and light blue daisy duke shorts with hooker hoop earings. when i was done getting readyi looked at myself in the mirrror i had in my bedroom. i looked hot! ilooked like every mans fantasy girl. i looked like a whore. and i loved every minuet of it.
i grabbed my liht pink leather purse and hopped down the stairs, skipping breakfast so i could look thinner, i grabbed a water botle and started heading for the door, i was almost out when i heardy my mom gast behind me
"you look stunning," she said
"umm, thanks mom," i replied, "i have to go to school now i'll see you soon."
"goodbye sweetheard," she yelled as i raced out my front door and headed to my bus stop.
one good thing about my mom was she didnt care about how i looked or my grades or anything really, she had let me be independent almost my whole life. and most of that was because whenever i was home she was either "working" or sleeping. see, my mom dropped out of high school her junior year, she had never gotten good grades, and she was sick of trying so hard for nothing. shortly after dropping out of school she found what she called her "lifes calling." she started prostituting her body and sex on the streets, she was only 17 when she started this career, thatsho i had come to be. i had never met my father, my mother said he was one of her usual customers, and that he was in his late 40's when i had been born. when people asked me what my mother did for a living i always said she owned an online store and sold cosmetics products. i was never prowd of my moms career, but ihve to admit, it did put food on the table, but it was something i would never do. after living a childhood with a hooker i had made a promise to myself, and to god, that i would stay a virgin until marrige, and ha the purity ring on my right ring finger to remind me of that promise.
the buss pulled up and slowely came to a stop, no one else shared the bus sop with me, i was alone, i was disapointed to see only four other people on the bus, all girls. i took a seat iin the back, so i could tell if anyone was looking back at me, maybe that would my self esteem a litttle more. people slowely started filling up the bus, still i sat alone, i saw a few people glance back at me, but it still wasnt the attention i was hopeing for.
i began thinking maybe i didnt look as good as i thought i did, i while iw as thinking this to myself it startled me when i heard a deep voice speak to me.
"can i sit here," it said. i looked up to see a tall man with short blonde hair staring back at me, and my god he was cute, my throut closed up and i couldnt seem to open my mouth
"can i sit here?" he asked again, he was smiling, his smile was beautiful, still too stunned to talk i shook my head up and down in a very fast, violent motion, i scooted over to the window, putting my purse in my lap and i quickley turned away and looked out the window. after what seemed like an eternity e said,
"i'm kyle, are you new here?" i turned my head to look at him, i wasnt expecting him to accually make, or try to make, conversation with me
dumbfoundly, i replied, "uh, yeah, i'm a freshman."
"really?!" he said "you look alot older, like you could be in my grade."
"what grade are you in?" i asked
"11th, im a junior."
and at that the bus finally pulled up to the school, "that has to be the msot awkward conversation i have haver had," i thought to myself as we started to said up to leave he said "i'll see you around umm... i'm sorry i didnt catch your name."
"its virginia," i said with a weak smile
"Well virginia, i'll see you around.
"see ya," i said while i hurried off to my first class
my schedual was as followed
1st period: geometry
2nd period: english
3rd period:spanish
4th period:art
5th period:chemistry
6th period:lunch
7th period:pe
8th period: geography
i was glad pe and geography were at the end of the day, because they were my least favorite classes, not to mention the hardest for me, but i was confident that i would do well in all of my other classes.
the first day was always the easiest day of the year. in every class the teacher explained what we would be learning, rules to the class, etc, etc. the day went by fast, but it seemed even with my new look, and even though i got a little more recognition then usual, i was still the quiet smart irl. you would think that i would atleast have one class with one of my friends, but that wasnt the case, in every one of my classes was filled with strangers, i felt so alone, i was consitntaly texting my friends, trying to come up with a plan to meet somewhere, but with only 5 minuet passing periods that wasnt the case, one good thing that came out of today was with my 3 inch heels, i loo,edo lder, so i wasnt being constantly hurrassed for being a freshman, like some students were. at the end of the day i rode the bus again, and once agin kyle sat next to me, today he had been the one to accually talk to me, i ws beggining to wonder if all my time and effort to look good was even worth it
"hey!" she said
"hello?" i said back
"how was your day?" he asked me
i knew he ws just being friendly. i doubt he really cared how my day was but i didnt want to be rude, so i replied with a simple, "it was fine...yours?"
"pretty good, so how are you liking the school so far?" honestly i didnt believe someone this cute was accually talking to me, and i was being a total jackass, i tried to be more enthusiastic when i talked this time.
"its really nice, the campuss is really beutiful, and the teachers and administraters arnt acually that bad"
"well im glad you like it," he said as the bus was pulling up to his stop.
"see you tomarrow miss virginia"
"see ya" i replied
after the bus dropped me off at my stop walked home wishing the day had been more like i was expecting it, when i reached my house i found my mom asleep on the couch with some soap oprah on, i pulled a blanket on top ofher, turned the tv off, and went upstairs to take a nap
Chapter three: a friend
five weeks of school had passed, i decided not to go for the whole hooker look, but instead i went for something more natural. every day i talked to kyle on the bus, we had evens tarted hanging out at lunch, he turned out bein a really good guy. he evenstood up for freshmen when they were being harassed. i had learned that he had played on our schools v arsit football team, the rio rancho ram, in rio rancho, new mexico, a least our schools colors wernt that bad, dark navy blue and dark green. thats the only reason i accually considered it when kyle told me i should be a chearleader, and now i was on the pre-varsity team, i wouldnt have beleived i would have been a cheerleader in a billion years, and i ws suprised i hd even made the first two cuts, and here i was, pom poms and all, cheering on the football team. practice was everyday after school, so the past two weeks we had been working our butts off for over 10 hours a week, and hen ontop of that i had to walk home, becasue i couldnt ride the mus and my mom couldnt pick me up, so i walked, except for those few days kyle drove passed me and offered me a ride.
Chapter one: The End
Its Febuary 21st.
Tonight is the night that i would end all nights. The night i would drown myself in my own tears, watch the blood trickle from my wrists, and watch the depressing darkness wash over my body for the last time. Tonight was the one year anniversary of my greatest fear, and my worst nightmare.
Exactly one year ago it happened. My body, and my sanity, had been stolen from me, and all that was left was my tears. It was the night i, Virginia Megan Hansallen, had been stolen from my body. And i was finally ready to let my body dig its own grave into the deep pits of emptiness that my soul had been thrown into exactly one year ago.
Chapter two: Fresh-meat
it all started my first day of my freshman year of high school. that morning i was dressed to impress. my wardrobe for the first week of school had been picked out nearly a month in advance. This morning, my first morning of high school, i was determinded to make all heards turn to see me. i was sick of being the nobody that wore plain clothes and got good grades. i was done being unnoticed, but today all that would change. it was a hot summer morning, i had been up since four o-clock this morning, taking my time to get ready so i would look perfect. i wore a pair of light green three inch heels, with a matching toob top in the same shade, the color made my green eyes pop out. i wore my long light brown hair in loose curls, i had gotten light blonde hihlights the week before, because the normal color of my hair had made my skin look too pale. i had practically drowned my eyes in dark black eyeliner and mascara. and the lip glossi wore had turned my thin lips plump and beauriful. to top everything off, i wore a grey strapless water bra, a black rhinstoned thong (nobody would see but it made me feel more confident) and light blue daisy duke shorts with hooker hoop earings. when i was done getting readyi looked at myself in the mirrror i had in my bedroom. i looked hot! ilooked like every mans fantasy girl. i looked like a whore. and i loved every minuet of it.
i grabbed my liht pink leather purse and hopped down the stairs, skipping breakfast so i could look thinner, i grabbed a water botle and started heading for the door, i was almost out when i heardy my mom gast behind me
"you look stunning," she said
"umm, thanks mom," i replied, "i have to go to school now i'll see you soon."
"goodbye sweetheard," she yelled as i raced out my front door and headed to my bus stop.
one good thing about my mom was she didnt care about how i looked or my grades or anything really, she had let me be independent almost my whole life. and most of that was because whenever i was home she was either "working" or sleeping. see, my mom dropped out of high school her junior year, she had never gotten good grades, and she was sick of trying so hard for nothing. shortly after dropping out of school she found what she called her "lifes calling." she started prostituting her body and sex on the streets, she was only 17 when she started this career, thatsho i had come to be. i had never met my father, my mother said he was one of her usual customers, and that he was in his late 40's when i had been born. when people asked me what my mother did for a living i always said she owned an online store and sold cosmetics products. i was never prowd of my moms career, but ihve to admit, it did put food on the table, but it was something i would never do. after living a childhood with a hooker i had made a promise to myself, and to god, that i would stay a virgin until marrige, and ha the purity ring on my right ring finger to remind me of that promise.
the buss pulled up and slowely came to a stop, no one else shared the bus sop with me, i was alone, i was disapointed to see only four other people on the bus, all girls. i took a seat iin the back, so i could tell if anyone was looking back at me, maybe that would my self esteem a litttle more. people slowely started filling up the bus, still i sat alone, i saw a few people glance back at me, but it still wasnt the attention i was hopeing for.
i began thinking maybe i didnt look as good as i thought i did, i while iw as thinking this to myself it startled me when i heard a deep voice speak to me.
"can i sit here," it said. i looked up to see a tall man with short blonde hair staring back at me, and my god he was cute, my throut closed up and i couldnt seem to open my mouth
"can i sit here?" he asked again, he was smiling, his smile was beautiful, still too stunned to talk i shook my head up and down in a very fast, violent motion, i scooted over to the window, putting my purse in my lap and i quickley turned away and looked out the window. after what seemed like an eternity e said,
"i'm kyle, are you new here?" i turned my head to look at him, i wasnt expecting him to accually make, or try to make, conversation with me
dumbfoundly, i replied, "uh, yeah, i'm a freshman."
"really?!" he said "you look alot older, like you could be in my grade."
"what grade are you in?" i asked
"11th, im a junior."
and at that the bus finally pulled up to the school, "that has to be the msot awkward conversation i have haver had," i thought to myself as we started to said up to leave he said "i'll see you around umm... i'm sorry i didnt catch your name."
"its virginia," i said with a weak smile
"Well virginia, i'll see you around.
"see ya," i said while i hurried off to my first class
my schedual was as followed
1st period: geometry
2nd period: english
3rd period:spanish
4th period:art
5th period:chemistry
6th period:lunch
7th period:pe
8th period: geography
i was glad pe and geography were at the end of the day, because they were my least favorite classes, not to mention the hardest for me, but i was confident that i would do well in all of my other classes.
the first day was always the easiest day of the year. in every class the teacher explained what we would be learning, rules to the class, etc, etc. the day went by fast, but it seemed even with my new look, and even though i got a little more recognition then usual, i was still the quiet smart irl. you would think that i would atleast have one class with one of my friends, but that wasnt the case, in every one of my classes was filled with strangers, i felt so alone, i was consitntaly texting my friends, trying to come up with a plan to meet somewhere, but with only 5 minuet passing periods that wasnt the case, one good thing that came out of today was with my 3 inch heels, i loo,edo lder, so i wasnt being constantly hurrassed for being a freshman, like some students were. at the end of the day i rode the bus again, and once agin kyle sat next to me, today he had been the one to accually talk to me, i ws beggining to wonder if all my time and effort to look good was even worth it
"hey!" she said
"hello?" i said back
"how was your day?" he asked me
i knew he ws just being friendly. i doubt he really cared how my day was but i didnt want to be rude, so i replied with a simple, "it was fine...yours?"
"pretty good, so how are you liking the school so far?" honestly i didnt believe someone this cute was accually talking to me, and i was being a total jackass, i tried to be more enthusiastic when i talked this time.
"its really nice, the campuss is really beutiful, and the teachers and administraters arnt acually that bad"
"well im glad you like it," he said as the bus was pulling up to his stop.
"see you tomarrow miss virginia"
"see ya" i replied
after the bus dropped me off at my stop walked home wishing the day had been more like i was expecting it, when i reached my house i found my mom asleep on the couch with some soap oprah on, i pulled a blanket on top ofher, turned the tv off, and went upstairs to take a nap
Chapter three: a friend
five weeks of school had passed, i decided not to go for the whole hooker look, but instead i went for something more natural. every day i talked to kyle on the bus, we had evens tarted hanging out at lunch, he turned out bein a really good guy. he evenstood up for freshmen when they were being harassed. i had learned that he had played on our schools v arsit football team, the rio rancho ram, in rio rancho, new mexico, a least our schools colors wernt that bad, dark navy blue and dark green. thats the only reason i accually considered it when kyle told me i should be a chearleader, and now i was on the pre-varsity team, i wouldnt have beleived i would have been a cheerleader in a billion years, and i ws suprised i hd even made the first two cuts, and here i was, pom poms and all, cheering on the football team. practice was everyday after school, so the past two weeks we had been working our butts off for over 10 hours a week, and hen ontop of that i had to walk home, becasue i couldnt ride the mus and my mom couldnt pick me up, so i walked, except for those few days kyle drove passed me and offered me a ride.
Song: Dear Mother
Dear Mother
i just want a little affection,
i just want a little rebellion.
i'd rather sit here and die,
then sit here and cry.
i need someone to talk to but there no one to listen,
i'm sick of boring other people with my problems.
i want my wrists to bleed with anger,
i want my cries to be heard no longer.
i'm pretty sick of all your attention,
sometimes i need a little affection.
Chorus:
i wanna blow the steam right out of my head,
keep wishing i was dead,
trying to forget what you just said.
You say you care with all that fame,
all you do is play that computer game,
and i end up taking all the blame.
i want that monster to come and kill me,
maybe that will set me free.
and you will regret everything you've said,
when i'm buried and dead.
and then my sorrow will hang on your conscience,
maybe for now on you will have more patience.
you tried to teach my to make the right choices,
but when you take my freedom i can't hear your voices.
(Chorus)
and then those pills i popped will make me go away,
but too bad i was always astray.
i'm swinging shooters when my soul begins to leave,
my eyes roll back into my head and my chest begins to heave.
and then you see my lifeless corpse on the ground,
you sit there and frown, and you can't make a sound.
i just want a little affection,
i just want a little rebellion.
i'd rather sit here and die,
then sit here and cry.
i need someone to talk to but there no one to listen,
i'm sick of boring other people with my problems.
i want my wrists to bleed with anger,
i want my cries to be heard no longer.
i'm pretty sick of all your attention,
sometimes i need a little affection.
Chorus:
i wanna blow the steam right out of my head,
keep wishing i was dead,
trying to forget what you just said.
You say you care with all that fame,
all you do is play that computer game,
and i end up taking all the blame.
i want that monster to come and kill me,
maybe that will set me free.
and you will regret everything you've said,
when i'm buried and dead.
and then my sorrow will hang on your conscience,
maybe for now on you will have more patience.
you tried to teach my to make the right choices,
but when you take my freedom i can't hear your voices.
(Chorus)
and then those pills i popped will make me go away,
but too bad i was always astray.
i'm swinging shooters when my soul begins to leave,
my eyes roll back into my head and my chest begins to heave.
and then you see my lifeless corpse on the ground,
you sit there and frown, and you can't make a sound.
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